Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Need Some Advice

Happy April Everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I just don't want to bore people with some insignificant rants. I'm not going to lie, half of the reason I read these closet blogs are to read about other guys hook-ups, and I don't have any of those kind of stories. Yet.

I think I know the first person I'm going to tell. I met this kid Ryan about six months ago through a mutual friend. Ryan is a great guy; he seems pretty liberal and like the type of person who wouldn't get weirded out by being friends with a gay guy.

Ryan was recently dumped by his girlfriend, and has been calling me every night for the past couple of weeks to hang out. He basically just tells me all of his problems in regards to his ex-girlfriend, his job, this new girl he's seeing. I've never heard a guy talk about their feelings and emotions as much as this kid does. Come to think of it, he probably doesn't really know anything about me because I haven't gotten a word in haha.

I have a huge crush on this kid but I'm 80% sure he's straight. I have no reason to think he'd be bi, besides the fact that he talks about his emotions like a chick. He's gorgeous; really European looking, athletic body. He isn't giant, but whenever he wears a t-shirt I can't stop staring at his arms.

Basically, we've been going on long drives just talking, going to get dinner (just the two of us). He usually asks me to hang out late at night after I leave my other friends. When this is the case, I usually leave my other friends early =P. The other day he said he was going to ask me to go watch his soccer game, but I had to do a few other things. Tonight, when he got out of work, the first thing he did was called me to see what I was doing. I smile every time he sends me a text or that I see that he's calling me.

What do you guys think? I haven't really known him for that longs. 90% of the people I hang out with have been my friends for at least 8 years, so would it seem more appropriate to come out to them? It's sad to say it, but I don't think they'd be as receptive as Ryan. Any suggestions for how I should go about telling him? Text? Letter? In person? When I first pick him up or when I'm about to drop him off?

Then there's this other issue where I have this huge crush on Ryan. And I don't think it's gonna go away unless I stop hanging out with him.


  1. Congrats on even considering coming out! I think the most important part of coming out is that you pick someone that you both trust and your gut says that they're the right person to tell. If you feel that your relationship with Ryan is close enough that you trust him with your secret, then go for it!

    Keep in mind though, since he's the first one you're going to tell, he's going to be your main source of support in subsequent coming outs and sharing your thoughts and feelings about all the things that go along with coming out and being gay. That might be kind of tough to do when you have feelings for him.

    But in the end, no one can really say whether or not Ryan is the right person to tell. If it feels right to tell him, then you should do it. :)

    Best of luck to you!

  2. BC: This is a conundrum all us gay guys have to face from time to time. You should come out to Ryan for the right reason. It sounds like you want to come out to him because you hope he is receptive (if he is bi) and would like to make your crush come true. Wouldn't we all want to do that with our crushes? The problem is what if he isn't receptive to and just needs a friend because of his breakup with his GF?

    Can you stand being disappointed if you come out to him and he isn't interested in a romantic relationship with you? At the same time, he might be receptive, you won't know if you don't try. I guess what I'm saying is if you are OK with just remaining buddies with him and not have hopes of more, then go ahead and tell him. He might feel a little weirded out knowing that you like him but maybe you should keep that to yourself until you find out he's bi and might be OK taking your friendship in a different direction. If he isn't bi, in order to stay friends with him, you might have to keep your crush a secret.

  3. cool blog man. i'm interested in hearing any updates. i can relate to your story.